Wednesday, May 07, 2008
Oh no she di'int
Oh yes she did!Sketchy McBetterbusinessbureaupants emailed me yesterday to share that she will be showing the apartment from 3-5 PM on Sunday. That's Mother's Day to those of us with a soul. I emailed her back, all "Look, I know you don't celebrate Mother's Day in your house because that would mean you'd have to let the kids out of the attic, but my family actually loves me and I plan to spend the day being lauded and feted and generally drooled on in the comfort of my own home. Which is currently this apartment. Let me call your attention to Exhibit A: your fat wallet stuffed with my cash. As long as nothing's broken, I get to rock this place how and when I please."
Bitch did not respond.
But she did call my phone this morning to leave a message about all the showings she planned on doing today while I was at work. I had already blown the joint, so I did not have a chance to properly skankify all exposed surfaces. This will be remedied post-haste.
In other news, my library is in the midst of an end-of-the-fiscal year spending spree, wherein librarians in my position are encouraged to order books with wild abandon, paying no attention to critical reviews, quality, or price. It's wasteful and mired in bureaucratic bullshit and, as such, in the past few days I have taken this unchecked opportunity to offer The Man the following additions to the collection, in response: a 500-page tome on transgender history, an anthology of feminist Vietnamese poetry, a treatise on gay marriage, the Go Fug Yourself book, an Icelandic cookbook, and a couple of manuals on how to speak Africaans. Because if there's one area in which white suburban Illinois needs to build skills, it's the language of oppression.
by Melinda at 7:52 PM |
6 Comments:
lol wow - your landlords defy all boundaries and reason. UGH!tlpj
HAHAHAHHAAHA, cough.
I guess this means that you should always leave a few diapers strewn about, a pile of pug poo, maybe a few open condoms before leaving your house for work. Whether the condoms are used is up to you.
In a short while though you will be free of those crazyskanypants landlords of yours! Free!
Awesome letter to the landlord. Loves it muchly!
I love your reading list. Do you guys already have _The Vagina Monologues_? (And if so, maybe you need some more copies?) And perhaps some pro-feminist sex books?
it's people like you who give me hope for the midwest.
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